Regret
by Purine
Summary: "Alfred" the boy called in a soft yet, some what harsh edge to it. Alfred turned around looking at the frowning boy with the beautiful soft emerald green eyes " Arthur " Alfred said in a content sigh.
1. chapter1

"Alfred" the boy called in a soft yet, some what harsh edge to it. Alfred turned around looking at the frowning boy with the beautiful soft emerald green eyes " Arthur " Alfred said in a content sigh.

Alfred shot up on his bed and groaned "why the hell am I remembering that now". Alfred got up out of bed as he thought about how many years it's been since he last saw Arthur. "it's been 11 years since I last saw him" he sighed.

Arthur Kirkland was Alfred. childhood friend, Arthur was 12 while Alfred was 7 when they last saw each other. Even with that age gap, they were still very good friends, until Arthur disappeared with no notice. From that day Alfred started turning colder his eyes turned from happy soft blue eyes to hard, cold and emotionless eyes portraying hatred and repulsion.

Alfred now18, living alone in an old apartment somewhere on Matthew street glanced at his clock, which read 8:55am,"fuck I'm late" he yelled as he rushed getting ready and ran out the door to his beat up Chevy. He got in and started driving "I'm going to be fucking late for first day of work shit!" he muttered to himself. Alfred still dressed in his casual clothes which consisted of faded jeans and a brown beat up bomber jacket, a present from Arthur on his 7th birthday. Alfred remembered the day he got the jacket, "big brother this jackets too big for me to wear" and the answer Arthur gave him was "oh you'll grow into it soon ".

Alfred finally reached his work; he is now working as a business man at a company called APH. Since at his last job there were some issues with people. At APH he met his new boss Ivan Bragingski a tall brawny man with blank grey eyes with a soft smiling face but a dangerous edge to it.

He was told to work at department E where he met Ludwig Beildschmedt his new co worker. -this guys really buff wonder if he works out hmm wait what am I thinking about I wonder what I should say to him, well anyway got to act nice- "ummm so your name is Ludwig beildschmedt"? Alfred Exclaimed "yes it is but you can just call me Ludwig it's probably easier to say" he said politely.

Work went by slowly but finally ended at 11:30pm. Just as Alfred was about to leave he saw the big brawny figured man Ludwig "yes is there something you need"? Alfred said in a slightly irritated tone "I was wondering if you wanted to go out drinking with me" said Ludwig. -Oh great what the fuck am I going to do now, do I decline?-, thought Alfred but he decided to say yes to keep a good reputation. "Sure why not we'll go with my car" Alfred said faking a smile. No it's okay we can go with my car I am older you know" Ludwig chuckled lowly and mumbled something indefinable from Alfred's distance. *What the fuck*Alfred thought but shrugged nonchalantly and went along with Ludwig.

When they reached the bar they went inside and Alfred wondered why did they come to such a shady looking bar when they passed other bars on the way here "why did we come here when we could've gone to the bars closer to the workplace"? Alfred asked sceptically, Ludwig just returned Alfred's question with a shrug and said " c'mon I'll buy you a drink let's go" without thinking Alfred tailed Ludwig in the crowded bar to the beat up leather seats. After a few drinks Alfred started to lose consciousness and finally everything went pitch black.

Alfred still half unconscious felt his feet roughly sliding on hard concrete, Alfred was finally fully conscious realized the situation he was in, he was being dragged by none others than his overly friendly co worker Ludwig into an alley far from the bar they were in.

Alfred started to try and squirm out of Ludwig's arms. Ludwig noticed and pinned Alfred against a wall. "what do you think you're trying to do" spit Alfred. "You'll sell for a good amount" Ludwig said smiling sickly. "For what "Alfred hissed." prostitution of course "Ludwig laughed." that's not fucking funny let me go" Alfred screamed and kicked at Ludwig finally the fear in Alfred's voice showing. Ludwig's persona quickly changed from a kind gentleman's to a vulgar man's. At that moment Alfred realized the Ludwig he was with at work was just a façade and this was the real him.

Ludwig slapped Alfred hard across his face enough to leave a red mark in the shape of his hand, and hissed at him to shut up. Just when Alfred was about to give up he heard a voice from the end of the alley.


	2. chapter2

"Hey you what are you doing". Standing in front of them was a tall slender police officer with golden blonde hair and familiar soft emerald green eyes.

Alfred's eyes grew wide and he whispered in a barely audible voice" Arthur" then he felt himself fall. The last thing he saw was Ludwig running away and felt the warm hands of his childhood friend from so long ago wrap around him.

When Alfred woke up he was in an unfamiliar house he looked around and saw Arthur's back to him doing something. Alfred looked around himself and saw that he was in a bed wrapped up in a thick afghan blanket. "Alfred, you awake now" Arthur said in a warm tone.

Alfred got out of bed and said "I'm leaving" as he was leaving he felt a hand grab his shoulder "Alfred stay please I can explain" Arthur pleaded in a desperate voice." you left me all by myself, you didn't tell me where you went and hadn't given me a call since you disappeared, you think it's like I'll do whatever you say like when I was young " Alfred yelled enraged. Alfred felt the hands slip off his shoulder and heard one thing before he ran out "I'm sorry" in a barely audible voice. Alfred felt a twinge of guilt but told himself that he doesn't need to feel guilt, besides Arthur's the one who left him, then the guilt disappeared and hatred filled that spot once again.

As the days proceeded Alfred began to see Arthur around on the streets near his work more often, because of that, Alfred's irritation grew more and more as the days passed.

On one dark Friday Ludwig approached Alfred for the first time since the incident in the alley "who the hell was that police man" Ludwig seethed. Alfred just gave him a blank stare and walked away. As he was leaving Ludwig approached Alfred one last time and said "well anyway that police man can also sell for good money seems like an easy target so I'll get him first then I'll get you, my boss will be very pleased" sneered Ludwig "do whatever you like" Alfred said through gritted teeth and walked out of work as if nothing happened.

Outside he was met with the gaze of the emerald colour eyed police man who was passing a parking ticket to some youngster, but he did not dare speak one word to Alfred even after he was done giving the ticket, he just gave Alfred one lonely smile and walked away. "Arthur" whispered Alfred after he was long gone. Alfred walked to his truck and drove home.

Alfred lying in his bed started to worry about the words Ludwig had spoken, Alfred had so many questions; who is his boss? Why would such a smart man like Ludwig work for such an organization? Why was he targeted? And why Arthur? As those questions swam around Alfred's head his consciousness began to drift and there began a dream, a happy dream full of all his favourite things hamburgers, his cousin Matthew, fighter jet planes, and Arthur...

The next few weeks flew by without any abnormal occurrences.

On the next Monday Alfred noticed that Ludwig wasn't at work, and a few of the other workers were whispering about something, curious, Alfred asked "what are you guys talking about". "Oh umm well you know Ludwig" whispered Honda kiku a generally quiet man. "Yeah... What about him?" said Alfred hesitantly. "Well Ludwig got arrested because he assaulted a police officer"... Alfred' eyes grew wider and just said "no, it cant be".


	3. chapter3

Alfred looked at Honda Kiku and asked in a monotone voice "do you know what the police officer looked like?" Kiku answered "yes well he had blonde hair and his eyes were an emerald green..." Alfred's blood ran cold and screeched "no no no!" Alfred's co-workers looked at him in shock and before any of them could ask Alfred what his problem was he asked sharply "which hospital is he in?" "The hetalia general hospital" kiku answered quietly. "Thank you" Alfred said in a softer voice and ran out of the building.

* what have I done* thought Alfred furious at himself as he drove at tremendous speeds even as people were shouting obscenities at him, he finally reached the hospital and almost broke the door of the hospital as he ran in. The lady at the reception desk raised an eyebrow and asked "did you need something?" Alfred told the lady in an impatient voice "yeah is there an Arthur Kirkland here?" "Yes there is he is but no one is aloud to visit him at the moment" the lady said. Alfred looked at the ladies name tag and looked back up at her "Ms. Julchen please he's a very important person to me" Alfred said in a cracked voice. Julchen looked at Alfred hissed "go he is in the room on the second floor room 223 and don't let anyone notice" Alfred looked at the nurse in utter surprise and whispered "thank you" and ran up the stairs and snuck into the room 223.

When he got in the room it was empty except for a section of the room where there the bed curtains were closed. Alfred gulped and walked towards the curtains, when he reached them he slowly slid the curtains open. Alfred's eyes widened at the sight in front of him and fell to his knees. There in front of him laid a sleeping Arthur who was covered in bruises covering every inch of his body and cuts spread across his pale skin.

Alfred clenched his fist and felt his blood going up to his head. He screamed "why?" just then he felt foot steps coming closer to him and a voice, "excuse me you are not supposed to be here". Alfred whipped his head around to see a man with pale white skin, silver hair with crimson eyes.

You are not supposed to be here repeated after a short silence. "I am a doctor, my name is Gilbert Beildschmidt and I am assigned to take care of this patient" Gilbert continued talking. Alfred widened his eyes at the last name and stood up and grabbed Gilbert's collar and spit "are you related to a man named Ludwig Beilschmidt?" Gilbert narrowed his crimson eyes and calmly answered "yes. He is my younger brother" hearing this Alfred felt a surge of pure hatred and punched Gilbert in the face and yelled "how can you calmly stand here and take care of someone your brother tried to hurt?" Gilbert's eyes widened "what did you say?" "I said that your brother is the one who hurt Arthur you idiot!" Gilbert stared at Alfred in disbelief "no... he wouldn't. He would never hurt someone you're lying! "Well he did" Alfred said coldly. "I'm so sorry is there anything I can do to repent for what my brother has done?" Gilbert said in a desperate voice. Alfred seeing the sincerity in those crimson eyes loosened his grip on gilberts collar and sighed "there is one thing you can do for me actually two" Gilbert asked "what is it?" "I want to know Arthurs condition and punch your brother in the face for me" Alfred said. Gilbert winced at the second request but nodded. "Arthur right know is in a coma..." "What?" Alfred interrupted. "Arthur had a couple injuries to his head that was the worst of it other than that his body should heal with minor scars oh and one more thing he might have amnesia when he wakes up" Gilbert said continuing his interrupted sentence.

Alfred stood there still as stone and whispered "no, no way he can't have amnesia"

"umm can I ask you a question?" asked Gilbert quietly. "What is it?" Alfred said still in a hushed voice. "What are you to Arthur?" Gilbert asked a little more loudly. "A childhood friend a very close one he was like an older brother to me" Alfred said. "Oh..." was all Gilbert could manage to say before he said "well then I will take my leave then you can stay here" and walked out of the room.

Alfred walked over towards Arthur's bed and looked at Arthur's face which had a soft expression on it; Alfred laid his head on the edge of the bed and closed his eyes and drifting into a deep sleep.

A few weeks past but Arthur never woke up but Alfred persistently came to the hospital breaking inside each time as Arthurs face grew paler. One night Alfred came into the Arthurs hospital room and saw a figure sitting in a chair beside the bed. As Alfred got closer he realised it was Arthur. He ran full speed at Arthur and hugged him "Arthur!" he smiled. Arthur turned around in surprise his usual emerald green eyes were now a glazed dull green and he said one thing "who are you?" The horrible news that Gilbert had told Alfred came true, Alfred's heart dropped and his blood drained out of his face and said "no…"


	4. chapter4

Arthur looked at Alfred in suspicion and asked in a stone cold voice "who are you? And what do you want from me child". Those words sparked Alfred's anger and the stress added to that Alfred's anger was at its peak, but what came out of his mouth was surprising." Arthur it's me Alfred, I just wanted to tell you, thanks for not forgetting me all this time ... And I love you". With that said Alfred dragged his feet as he walked out of the room leaving the emerald green orbs of the man in the hospital bed wide open with a mixture of shock and confusion. As Alfred closed the door to the hospital room he crumpled onto the ground started to silently sob not caring of the stares of the people around him. 'Why. Why!' Alfred thought.

After a few moments of taking deep breaths and calming down, he stood up and left the hospital.

"You really don't remember him do you? Gilbert sighed walking into the room. "No" Arthur said in a monotone. "I'm sorry for what my brother did to you" saying that Gilbert left the room. Arthur still confused groaned and looked at his body 'what happened to me and why can't I remember anything?'...

(It's kind of like England's point of view sort of don't kill me DX)

Arthur decided to stop thinking about it and walked to the dull hospital bed and lied in it until he drifted to sleep. When he woke up he felt something heavy on him, when he looked down to see what it was, he realized it was the boy with the blonde hair and the blue orbs that were oh to familiar, but at the same time not, and in that boys hands was a single primrose. Seeing that Arthur had a moment of nostalgia, and a memory from the past flashed in his mind 'big brother what are these flowers called? Asked the little boy with curious giant sky blue eyes. "They're called primroses. They're really popular in England you know and they're also my favorite flowers okay Alfred? Arthur smiled'.

Arthur snapped back to reality and whispered as he finally was able to remember everything "Alfred". The blonde haired boy twitched and slowly opening his lids revealing brilliant blue eyes even as he had dark circles under his eyes. When Alfred finally comprehended everything he felt arms wrap around him tightly and he looked up, his eyes widened to see a man with brilliant emerald green eyes and a smile embracing him. In that moment Alfred forgot all of his sadness, anger or hatred all he felt was the feeling he had lost for almost 11 years. Love, and with that he returned Arthurs embrace while tears of joy spilled from the corners of his eyes.

**Soooo. How is it? This is my first fan fiction so XP I'm not sure if I should continue writing this story or just leave it like this. Well anyway please review if possible thank you. ^^:**


	5. The happy ending?

When Alfred finally stopped crying he looked up at Arthur who also had tears partially drying on his face. "I'm sorry Alfred I'll never leave you again I promise" Arthur said in a voice tinged with pure sincerity. Alfred couldn't come to say no, as surprisingly, those words never popped up in his head "its okay, I love you Arthur, so very much" Alfred whispered trying to hold in the new tears that were now threatening to spill over. Not being able to say anymore Alfred kissed Arthur gently on the lips to show that he was forgiven and that he loved him. Arthur just responded to the kiss by chuckling lightly and whispering "stupid git, do you want me to start crying again" and then gave Alfred another tight embrace. "Yes it is your punishment for leaving me" Alfred laughed lightly.

A couple of weeks past and Arthur was finally released from the hospital, and was no having Alfred drive him back home. During the drive back home Alfred told all the things that happened during the time when Arthur was gone. "Oh my, you matured so much from when I last saw you" Arthur laughed amused. "Ohh shaddup" Alfred said turning away and blushing slightly and light bulb lit up over Alfred s head "well you know what Arthur?" Alfred said smirking. "What?" Arthur asked curious of what the American had to say. "You've grown too, now you're an old man hahahaha" Alfred glanced in Arthurs direction and laughed, Arthur s face looked hilarious, he looked like he was about to explode. "Just shut up and drive stupid git! `` was all Arthur said before he started to pout and looked out the window. Alfred rolled his eyes and sighed. "I was joking Arthur you look good, just as you did before you left". Arthur s face turned beet red and turned around raising a brow and then burst out laughing. "What are you laughing at?" Alfred said narrowing his eyes, still a hint of blush on his cheeks. "It's just that , I'm so happy to be able to talk and be with you right now " Alfred widened his eyes then just as the light turned red he kissed Arthur again on the lips and focused on his driving leaving his now lovers emerald orbs wide with surprise. "Tonight we're having hamburgers" Alfred said still focused on his driving and grinned smugly as he heard a groan of distaste from beside him and the muttered words "bastard". Alfred chuckled and said grinning "I love you to Arthur" and kissed him again this time lightly on the cheek.

**THE END**

**Finally, I am finished! Yaaaaayyy. So how did you guys like it was it good? Please review this…. I like criticism it helps me improve my writing skills B). I didn't really want to make it smutty because I thought it might ruin the story so ._.**

**Plus I'm using my parents computer so if they find a document with yaoi smut … well then I will be officially considered banned from the computer so XP sayonara!**

**Hope you enjoyed ;)**


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